Filled to the Brim
Moving through life we are filled to the brim with stories about what is right, what is wrong, what it means to be a good sister, daughter, friend, coworker, peer, student, teacher, citizen of this ever-evolving planet. These stories form our identities and dictate how we either glide or trudge through this world, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. As we take on these stories, or they overtake us, they permeate every cell of our being until we acquire the awareness that maybe, just maybe, we never actually made the conscious choice to inherit these stories. They were inflicted upon us by those that we were surrounded with most often in our formative years and beyond.
When we take a moment to find stillness, to find pure and utter solitude, who are you? Who are you without the stories of what it means to be successful? Who are you without the stories of how to be the best partner? Who are you without the stories of fear that were ever so gracefully lain upon you by others whose lives were dictated by stories that were not theirs either? Sitting in our stories sets off a massive chain reaction in generations to come until we find courage, strength, and resources to break out from them and generously leave them where they belong — anywhere but within YOU.
One of the hardest stories to break free from is the story of what it means to be successful.
We have the shifting social construct of how success is measured — predominantly by financial prowess acquired from years spent navigating the education system paired conveniently with a bonafide relationship to match, for those who are indoctrinated with the notion that we were put here to grow up, get good jobs, get married, procreate, and tend to the needs of the little rascals running around simply because that was the “next step” in this big thing we call life.
The morning routines, the exercise, the nourishment, sleeping less so we can accomplish more. Reading all of the self-mastery books we can get our hands on. Taking in more information from the outside than what could have possibly been imagined fifty years ago. Fitting some time to travel in there. Grind.
What if we can find flow by dropping the stories of what success is and is not and listening to our innate, to our gut, our intuition? Removing all stories of judgment from ourselves and from others. What would that look like? What magnitude of space would that provide for true success, true JOY to come through?
Personally, I find myself feeling tremendous amounts of guilt by simply letting myself sleep in without an alarm. I have a deeply engrained story that if I want to be my best self, I “should” get up early, before the crack of dawn. I “should” immediately move my body. I “should” intermittent fast. I “shouldn’t” enjoy that second glass of wine because I may feel more tired the next morning when the loop of stores starts all over again.
This is a prison: a self-inflicted one, at that.
But these stories started somewhere. With myself as I acquired more supposed “knowledge” of what is “right and wrong”. More pressure from the outside in to appear a certain way, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
When I listen to all of these stories and adhere strictly to these ideals, is that what makes me successful? Is that what allows my value as ME to come through, not just to the world, but FOR the world and the universe? Perhaps it is time to re-evaluate.
So in case someone has not told you, it is okay, in fact it is necessary, to take time for YOU. To sleep in, to nourish yourself with what your body is telling you it needs, to enjoy that second (or third — hey, no judgment on my end) glass of wine because there is tremendous appreciation in the art, science, and philosophy that went into its very creation that allowed it to go from a bunch of grapes on a vine to a luscious and divine liquid in a glass in your hand. It is okay to eat when you are hungry and know that you are not sabotaging your health by acquiring exogenous energy outside of your self-inflicted fasting window.
These stories create layers of sediment that sit between all of the “shoulds” and our truest self. This sediment, that can eventually harden like stone in our very bodies, sits in between us and success.
I am choosing to drop stories that do not serve me, that have programmed a captivated version of myself.
I get to find my own version of success and for me that is not only feeling my best, but EXPRESSING in all of my power and authenticity.
When we give ourselves the opportunity to express how we feel, what we need, and where we would like to move from here, we grace ourselves with freedom. We break the chains of our routines of tending to others, of cramming ourselves in to what our social constructs have deemed success, have deemed “making it”. We return to creative freedom to design our lives as we see fit, detoxing from the stories, things, people that no longer serve our highest selves. We find success in the in-between moments. Success in the simple choices that serve our higher selves over our lower selves. Success in the decisions that allow us to find joy, peace, and ease. Success in the just conclusions of stories that we choose to write ourselves.
After all, this is your life you are living — not anyone else’s.
Life is meant to be an expression of self. Not an expression of the “shoulds” and “should nots”.
As you shed the stories that have held you back from your truth, your authenticity, your version of success, enjoy the ride. Enjoy the creativity and the limitless freedom that you have (and always have had) to re-create, re-shift, re-calibrate, re-position, re-do aspects of your life that you feel bring you success.
This is where the fun begins. Welcome back to you.
